Mark Zuckerberg Promises To Do Better In Selling You Out Before Next Election

Today Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg testified before congress about the numerous scandals the company has faced over the last few months. In his opening remarks Zuckerberg apologized that the company dropped the ball in handling users data and promised to do better in selling out its users. “We made a mistake” said a remorseful Zuckerberg. “You trusted us with your data and we didn’t do a good enough job managing our shady practices in monetizing it while setting you up to be fooled with fake news. For that I am truly sorry”. Towards the end of his statement Zuckerberg made a promise to Facebook users everywhere. “We can do better and we will do better in selling you out before the next election. It is our job to have your trust and take it to allow foreign agents to manipulate you into dismantling democracy without you knowing it while we make an incredible profit. This is a promise I intend to keep”.

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