How To Distract From Your Fart By Attacking Hillary Clinton

Everyone knows that an accidental fart in public can be very embarrassing, but is it more embarrassing than Hillary Clinton’s 2016 election loss? It doesn’t have to be! Just follow these tips and you’ll be spinning the story of your fart so hard it will give Sarah Huckabee Sanders a run for her money!

Emails:

Someone in the elevator just gave you a dirty look after you leaked a smelly one. But did Hillary Clinton look into how security leaks in her private email server could put national security at risk? No! Make a loud, angry statement about her email controversy and you’ll have everyone go from saying “Pee-eww” to “Lock Her Up!”

Benghazi:

Its no secret that for 13 Hours Killary left Americans stranded with no help in Benghazi. It’s also no secret for the last 13 hours you have been farting up a storm at work after trying that Thai place with a C-rating.  In case of an accidental toot-toot from your poop chute, be ready to bombard your colleagues with loosely proven facts about how Hillary’s poor handling of this started ISIS. People won’t notice your stink in no time!

Voice:

For over 3 decades Hillary Clinton has been in the public spotlight spewing lies with her shrill voice. You know what else is shrill? That squeaky fart you just let out in the waiting room of your dentists office. Don’t sweat it! When everyone turns and looks at you in disgust cover up with how Crooked Hillary sounds like a broken telemarketing robot.

No matter what digestive failing you’re faced with, Hillary Clinton has many faults that you can use as a distraction. Follow these tips and just like the GOP, Fox News, and the President, everyone will be too confused to care!