Pizza Rat Announces 2020 Presidential Run

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Read moreNorth Pole – Santa’s Workshop announced today that it will be laying off 14,000 Elves as part of a massive restructuring effort. The Elves affected account for almost a quarter of Santa’s workforce. The layoffs come as Santa plans to close several workshops that have been labeled as “outdated”. “Kids aren’t as excited about dolls and wooden trains anymore. It’s
Read moreBrooklyn, NY: Today Apple released several new devices geared toward reading terrible news on the internet. “These are the best devices we have ever made” announced Tim Cook on stage after 40 minutes of bragging about how well the company is doing. These devices are thinner, lighter, and load all the terrible current events of the day 50% faster than
Read moreSome say its a legend, but now its happened to you. You met Mr. Right and he’s fucked you so good you can longer walk. Though the effects might be temporary, you definitely want to be prepared for the recovery process. Here are some options that can help you get around so you can get back to catching that dick
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